Thursday, October 6, 2011

Toilet Intrigue

My Henry is disgustingly interested in the toilet. Should anyone leave the door open to the bathroom, he gets there in record time. Sometimes, I don't even know he is in there until I hear the splashing. Gross, right? Yes, it is gross. Gross, to you and me. We know the purpose of the toilet. But imagine being 2 ½ feet tall. The things at eye level are not that interesting. What do you see? Baseboards and ankles. On some occasion, one might get lucky and find an old fruit snack dropped by an older sibling. Fruit snacks are exciting. They have colors and flavors, unlike those boring doorstops and stool legs.

The draw to the bathroom makes perfect sense when I put myself in his little shoes….well feet, he doesn't really wear shoes. And he has chubby feet. So, when I put myself in Henry's dimpled feet, I can understand why the bathroom is so alluring. You crawl in and the walls have TILE, Whoa. If you make any noise it echoes. The tub is perfect to pull oneself up from the floor, to get a better look around. A plunger, a toilet bowl brush….so fascinating compared to the Matchbox cars in the living room….already tasted them. And don't even get me started on the toilet paper! AWESOME! It's amazing how something so white and clean can make such a mess! And if you get it wet, it sticks to everything. Most of the time, there is at least a little bit of water close by. Could this count as a crude form of paper mache? Could putting a stop to this activity stifle my child's creativity? He could be the next Michelangelo, Salvador Dali, or Charmin Ultra cartoon artist.

The coolest part about the bathroom is the toilet-no doubt. It always has water in it. It can always make splashing noises. Everyone thinks a 2.5 footer is adorable when they splash around in the tub. So imagine being that 2.5 footer and trying to understand why it is wrong to splash around in the toilet. Why isn't THAT cute? It's just as fun as the tub, and you can get your clothes wet while they are ON. The toilet is popular with everyone in the house. Someone is always playing with it. Sometimes, two or more people race to see who can get there first. Why should a 10 month old be any different from anyone else? Well, mine isn't. The minute that door opens, he books it! The determined look in his eye says it all, "I'm gonna get there, and I'm gonna splash in it before anyone can stop me! I will succeed."

The human need to use the bathroom is undeniable. Just because someone is in Huggies doesn't mean we can expect them to resist the draw of the water closet. Please, don't misunderstand my stance on the subject. I now clearly declare-PLAYING IN THE TOILET IS YUCKY. I'm just saying the bathroom is hard for anyone to ignore. So, as parents, we can put ourselves in the fat feet of our crawling offspring and have a little compassion for the vertically challenged. There is no way to teach a baby not to splash in the toilet. We can just keep the door closed (if possible) and double flush as a courtesy (no floaters).

The bathroom: A toddler's in home, theme park.

1 comment:

  1. That is so funny! You have a gift for writing. Poor Henry.