Tuesday, October 8, 2013
My dear Bride, you are overlooking the most significant part of the wedding....the diamond! The flower girl's dress has more layers of tulle than the sky has stars...but all she does is throw pedals on the isle for you to walk on. The true hero of the day is the Ring Bearer! He is carrying the rock. You are trusting him with symbols of love worth thousands of dollars. Let's hear it for the boy! Let's not neglect him. He needs to look just as cute as the flower girl-ringlets and all.
This collection is dedicated to that young man.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
There are so many differences between Michigan and AZ that I could write a book on them. I doubt anyone would really be interested in them. But, as an Arizonan (by transplant from Northern CA) there is one difference that has really stood out int he last month or so. That difference effects me everyday. The difference is the ice and the value of it.
Michiganders take ice for granted. Can you believe that at the soda fountain some people don't even put ice in their cup. And if they do, it's maybe 1/3 full of ice. Blech. They may as well be drinking coffee. I can understand where they are coming from. I haven't always been an "ice" person. But for the last 10 years I have been observing and learning the value of the perfect beverage. The perfect beverage is in a Styrofoam cup (sorry tree huggers), crushed ice filled to the very top, with a sturdy straw about 5 millimeters across. The liquid placed inside has little to do with the quality of said beverage. The major component is the ice, the rest is just filler.
In this heat, the local convenience store is the suburban watering hole. It is here that one can usually determine the perfect ice for themselves. Usually, the options are either "crushed" or "cubed". The variations among each category compare to the variations of the word "snow" in the Eskimo languages. The variations usually drive different folks to different watering holes in order to find the perfect genus of ice. This picture of "cubed" ice may demonstrate what I mean:
Friday, December 7, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
|Do take orders from the Groom.|
|Don't stand on a shaky ladder with no shoes on.|
|Do catch up with old friends.|
|Don't miss the chance to make new friends.|
|Do enjoy the artwork.|
|Don't get hairdo ideas from the artwork.|
|Do help the bride get ready.|
|Don't call the bride "Grandma"|
|Do have fun and make people laugh.|
|Don't dress up as a clown cuz it freaks Jeffy out.|
|Do use "kellybowbelly" flowers in the bride's hair.|
|Don't neglect to use them in the bouquet.|
|Do look forward to the future.|
|Don't forget the past.|
Friday, January 13, 2012
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
My Henry is disgustingly interested in the toilet. Should anyone leave the door open to the bathroom, he gets there in record time. Sometimes, I don't even know he is in there until I hear the splashing. Gross, right? Yes, it is gross. Gross, to you and me. We know the purpose of the toilet. But imagine being 2 ½ feet tall. The things at eye level are not that interesting. What do you see? Baseboards and ankles. On some occasion, one might get lucky and find an old fruit snack dropped by an older sibling. Fruit snacks are exciting. They have colors and flavors, unlike those boring doorstops and stool legs.
The draw to the bathroom makes perfect sense when I put myself in his little shoes….well feet, he doesn't really wear shoes. And he has chubby feet. So, when I put myself in Henry's dimpled feet, I can understand why the bathroom is so alluring. You crawl in and the walls have TILE, Whoa. If you make any noise it echoes. The tub is perfect to pull oneself up from the floor, to get a better look around. A plunger, a toilet bowl brush….so fascinating compared to the Matchbox cars in the living room….already tasted them. And don't even get me started on the toilet paper! AWESOME! It's amazing how something so white and clean can make such a mess! And if you get it wet, it sticks to everything. Most of the time, there is at least a little bit of water close by. Could this count as a crude form of paper mache? Could putting a stop to this activity stifle my child's creativity? He could be the next Michelangelo, Salvador Dali, or Charmin Ultra cartoon artist.
The coolest part about the bathroom is the toilet-no doubt. It always has water in it. It can always make splashing noises. Everyone thinks a 2.5 footer is adorable when they splash around in the tub. So imagine being that 2.5 footer and trying to understand why it is wrong to splash around in the toilet. Why isn't THAT cute? It's just as fun as the tub, and you can get your clothes wet while they are ON. The toilet is popular with everyone in the house. Someone is always playing with it. Sometimes, two or more people race to see who can get there first. Why should a 10 month old be any different from anyone else? Well, mine isn't. The minute that door opens, he books it! The determined look in his eye says it all, "I'm gonna get there, and I'm gonna splash in it before anyone can stop me! I will succeed."
The human need to use the bathroom is undeniable. Just because someone is in Huggies doesn't mean we can expect them to resist the draw of the water closet. Please, don't misunderstand my stance on the subject. I now clearly declare-PLAYING IN THE TOILET IS YUCKY. I'm just saying the bathroom is hard for anyone to ignore. So, as parents, we can put ourselves in the fat feet of our crawling offspring and have a little compassion for the vertically challenged. There is no way to teach a baby not to splash in the toilet. We can just keep the door closed (if possible) and double flush as a courtesy (no floaters).
The bathroom: A toddler's in home, theme park.